Epictetus, Memento Mori, and Health Anxiety
This post is a reflection of chapter 21 of Epictetus’ “Enchiridion” as presented in the course “Epictetus’ Enchiridion — Ancient Philosophy & Peace of Mind,” specifically, this lecture by Gregory Sadler (the lecture can also be found here)
As I was listening to Prof. Sadler’s lecture on Epictetus’ Enchiridion for chapter 21, which considers thinking about death, there was something I really could not ignore thinking about — my health anxiety. To give this some context, chapter 21 of the Enchiridion says the following:
“Keep before your eyes day by day death and exile, and everything that seems terrible but most of all death; and then you will never have any abject thought, nor will you yearn for anything beyond measure.”
-Epictetus, “Enchiridion”
What Epictetus is trying to say here is that if we remember that we are going to die, and think about the fact that calamity will befall us eventually, it puts things into perspective of how we should act now. If you were told that you have 24 hours to live, and you changed everything about yourself in a panic to be a better person, or be the person that you would prefer being, then you have been living your life inappropriately until that moment. At least, according to the Stoic Epictetus. This sentiment is sometimes memorialized by stoics as Memento Mori. It should remind us that whatever worries we are having on a day to day basis, they really aren’t a big deal. As such, one way someone could put Epictetus’ argument is as follows:
(1) If you bear in mind that you will die, then you will live the life you deem meaningful. (Basic)
(2) If you will live the life you deem meaningful, then you will not worry about day to day setbacks. (Basic)
(3) Therefore, if you bear in mind that you will die, then you will not worry about day to day setbacks. (Hypothetical Syllogism 1, 2)
This is definitely fair, and to be clear, I think it is a very good argument to make. Live a meaningful life, don’t sweat the small stuff. If we remember that we are going to die, that calamity will befall us, we are going to live a life that is truly meaningful as a result. This carries a commendable amount of weight. I have no legitimate problem with the sentiment of the argument. However, I don’t actually think that bearing in mind the fact that I will die will necessarily lead to living a life I deem meaningful, well, maybe it does, but it can also lead to something else at the same time— health anxiety.
In health anxiety, the anxiety is of health problems that lead to death. In my experience, something small may happen — a twinge here, a pain there, anything really — and my mind will consider that it could be anything from literally insignificant, to something painfully life threatening. Death, as a result of this condition, is always on my mind.
One response a Stoic might have is that then I must fear death because I have lived poorly and find that I have not lived the life I want. To which I respond, of course I have not lived the full life that I have wanted to. I am not old, 30 isn’t old enough to look back on your life and think ‘Ah yes, I have lived a rich fulfilling life and have completed all my goals,’ is it? I wouldn’t expect myself to have achieved the long term goals I have set for myself before retirement, even though I am pursuing them. I am in a constant state of becoming the person I want to be, but I have also become the person I’ve wanted to be as well.
It’s rather interesting, as recently I went over “Does Death Give Meaning to Life” by Brooke Alan Trisel who comes to the conclusion that death isn’t a very good motivator for the living. If you’re interested in that article, I do suggest it as a good read for an in depth understanding here. However, for brief context, Trisel argues that if one didn’t do anything with their life to begin with, when they die, their death didn’t add any value to their life. In other words, in order for death to add meaning to life, one has to live a meaningful life to begin with, but motivation from death can initiate a meaningful life. Trisel does not find death to be a truly motivating factor however, because people have far more wholesome motivators. Einstein, Trisel gives for example, was motivated by his love for the field and his goals, not by death. There are even more, I think, obvious examples of this —Giordano Bruno, Copernicus, and Galileo, just to name a few. These people worked in the face that they would die, they could be killed for their findings. Their motivation was obviously not death, it’s the other way around, death could have been the result of their motivation.
Another response to my fear of death that a Stoic might have is that I am essentially, a coward. Or as Epictetus says according to Daily Stoic:
“Do you then ponder how the supreme of human evils, the surest mark of the base and cowardly, is not death, but the fear of death?”
-Epictetus
I would say that this is rather problematic. This essentially attacks my personality and not the argument as to why I might be afraid of death. In my example, it is an anxiety disorder, intrusive thoughts, completely unsolicited, of the pain and suffering of death (specifically of heart attack in my case) that are not something I want entering my mind. If I think of the fact that I will someday die, my mind quickly befalls to the pain of death. Even Epicurus, though not a stoic, but who I value very much, gives that it is rational to fear a painful process of death, primarily because the fear of pain is justified, in the sense of physical well-being.
“For Epicurus, there are some fears that are perfectly legitimate; so too are some desires. Epicurus offers a classification of desires into three types: some are natural, others are empty; and natural desires are of two sorts, those that are necessary and those that are merely natural (see Cooper 1999). Natural and necessary are those that look to happiness, physical well-being, or life itself (LM 127).”
-David Konstan, “Epicurus,” Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy
What I am trying to get at here is that my anxiety comes when some small twinge happens. I consider whether this is nothing or if it is that painful death I am going into. The fear that I have is that my painful death is now happening. The fear of my physical well-being is what is getting me.
So, death, for me, is not a motivator. I love being alive, don’t get me wrong, being able to experience things, being able to philosophize, being able to love, to sense, to build friendships, to write, to have physical well-being. These are all motivating things. I get that Epictetus is saying that I would cherish these more if I remembered I would die, and to some extent, it does. However, for some like me with health anxiety, the constant reminders that I am going to die, especially painfully, and that it can happen at any moment, only acts as a hinderance, not as a motivator. As such, my extracted argument could be described as follows:
(4) If I think about death, then my mind is focused on a painful death. (Basic)
(5) If my mind is focused on a painful death, then I can’t appreciate what I have or live in the moment. (Basic)
(6) Therefore, If I think about death, then I can’t appreciate what I have or live in the moment. (Hypothetical Syllogism 4, 5)
Again, the stoic has a reply. There is another chapter in the Enchiridion that talks about either boarding the ship to the afterlife under your own power and peacefully, or be forcefully ripped from the shores and tied to the masts. This would be a good point; when death calls, one does have no other choice. I understand and accept that. Except I am still young and healthy, death is not actually calling, and even though it isn’t actually calling, anxiety still tells me it is prematurely, regardless of my rational understanding that it is not.
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P.S. I have decided that it might be most beneficial and enjoyable for me to write in reflective format from some lecture or lesson that really got me thinking. I hope you enjoy it, but would like to know what you think!
